Lysistrata, by Aristophanes
Translated by Jack Lindsay
The Persons of the drama.
- Lysistrata
- Calonice
- Myrrhine
- Lampito
- Stratyllis, etc.
- Chorus of Women
- Magistrate
- Cinesias
- Spartan Herald
- Envoys
- Athenians
- Porter, Market Idlers, etc.
- Chorus of old Men
Lysistrata
If they were trysting for a Bacchanal, A feast of Pan or Colias or Genetyllis, The tambourines would block the rowdy streets, But now there's not a woman to be seen Except--ah, yes--this neighbour of mine yonder.
"Enter" Calonice.
Good day Calonice.
Calonice
Good day Lysistrata. But what has vexed you so? Tell me, child. What are these black looks for? It doesn't suit you To knit your eyebrows up glumly like that.
Lysistrata
Calonice, it's more than I can bear, I am hot all over with blushes for our sex. Men say we're slippery rogues --
Calonice
And aren't they right?
Lysistrata
Yet summoned on the most tremendous business For deliberation, still they snuggle in bed.
Calonice
My dear, they'll come. It's hard for women, you know, To get away. There's so much to do; Husbands to be patted and put in good tempers: Servants to be poked out: children washed Or soothed with lullays or fed with mouthfuls of pap.
Lysistrata
But I tell you, here's a far more weighty object.
Calonice
What is it all about, dear Lysistrata, That you've called the women hither in a troop? What kind of an object is it?
Lysistrata
A tremendous thing!
Calonice
And long?
Lysistrata
Indeed, it may be very lengthy.
Calonice
Then why aren't they here?
Lysistrata
No man's connected with it; If that was the case, they'd soon come fluttering along. No, no. It concerns an object I've felt over And turned this way and that for sleepless nights.
Calonice
It must be fine to stand such long attention.
Lysistrata
So fine it comes to this -- Greece saved by Woman!
Calonice
By Woman? Wretched thing, I'm sorry for it.
Lysistrata
Our country's fate is henceforth in our hands: To destroy the Peloponnesians root and branch --
Calonice
What could be nobler!
Lysistrata
Wipe out the Boeotians --
Calonice
Not utterly. Have mercy on the eels! [Footnote: The Boeotian eels were highly esteemed delicacies in Athens.]
Lysistrata
But with regard to Athens, note I'm careful Not to say any of these nasty things; Still, thought is free.... But if the women join us From Peloponnesus and Boeotia, then Hand in hand we'll rescue Greece.
Calonice
How could we do Such a big wise deed? We women who dwell Quietly adorning ourselves in a back-room With gowns of lucid gold and gawdy toilets Of stately silk and dainty little slippers....
Lysistrata
These are the very armaments of the rescue. These crocus-gowns, this outlay of the best myrrh, Slippers, cosmetics dusting beauty, and robes With rippling creases of light.
Calonice
Yes, but how?
Lysistrata
No man will lift a lance against another --
Calonice
I'll run to have my tunic dyed crocus.
Lysistrata
Or take a shield --
Calonice
I'll get a stately gown.
Lysistrata
Or unscabbard a sword --
Calonice
Let me buy a pair of slipper.
Lysistrata
Now, tell me, are the women right to lag?
Calonice
They should have turned birds, they should have grown wings and flown.
Lysistrata
My friend, you'll see that they are true Athenians: Always too late. Why, there's not a woman From the shoreward demes arrived, not one from Salamis.
Calonice
I know for certain they awoke at dawn, And got their husbands up if not their boat sails.
Lysistrata
And I'd have staked my life the Acharnian dames Would be here first, yet they haven't come either!
Calonice
Well anyhow there is Theagenes' wife We can expect -- she consulted Hecate. But look, here are some at last, and more behind them. See ... where are they from?
Calonice
From Anagyra they come.
Lysistrata
Yes, they generally manage to come first.
"Enter" Myrrhine.
Myrrhine
Are we late, Lysistrata? ... What is that? Nothing to say?
Lysistrata
I've not much to say for you, Myrrhine, dawdling on so vast an affair.
Myrrhine
I couldn't find my girdle in the dark. But if the affair's so wonderfull, tell us, what is it?
Lysistrata
No, let us stay a little longer till The Peloponnesian girls and the girls of Bocotia Are here to listen.
Myrrhine
That's the best advice. Ah, there comes Lampito.
"Enter" Lampito.
Lysistrata
Welcome Lampito! Dear Spartan girl with a delightful face, Washed with the rosy spring, how fresh you look In the easy stride of your sleek slenderness, Why you could strangle a bull!
Lampito
I think I could. It's frae exercise and kicking high behint.
[Footnote: The translator has put the speech of the Spartan characters in Scotch dialect which is related to English about as was the Spartan dialect to the speech of Athens. The Spartans, in their character, anticipated the shrewd, canny, uncouth Scotch highlander of modern times.]
Lysistrata
What lovely breasts to own!
Lampito
Oo ... your fingers Assess them, ye tickler, wi' such tender chucks I feel as if I were an altar-victim.
Lysistrata
Who is this youngster?
Lampito
A Boeotian lady.
Lysistrata
There never was much undergrowth in Boeotia, Such a smooth place, and this girl takes after it.
Calonice
Yes, I never saw a skin so primly kept.
Lysistrata
This girl?
Lampito
A sonsie open-looking jinker! She's a Corinthian.
Lysistrata
Yes, isn't she Very open, in some ways particularly.
Lampito
But who's garred this Council o' Women to meet here?
Lysistrata
I have.
Lampito
Propound then what you want o' us.
Myrrhine
What is the amazing news you have to tell?
Lysistrata
I'll tell you, but first answer one small question.
Myrrhine
As you like.
Lysistrata
Are you not sad your children's fathers Go endlessly off soldiering afar In this plodding war? I am willing to wager There's not one here whose husband is at home.
Calonice
Mine's been in Thrace, keeping an eye on Eucrates For five months past.
Myrrhine
And mine left me for Pylos Seven months ago at least.
Lampito
And as for mine No sooner has he slipped out frae the line He straps his shield and he's snickt off again.
Lysistrata
And not the slightest glitter of a lover! And since the Milesians betrayed us, I've not seen The image of a single upright man To be a marble consolation to us. Now will you help me, if I find a means To stamp the war out.
Myrrhine
By the two Goddesses, Yes! I will though I've to pawn this very dress And drink the barter-money the same day.
Calonice
And I too though I'm split up like a turbot And half is hackt off as the price of peace.
Lampito
And I too! Why, to get a peep at the shy thing I'd clamber up to the tip-top o' Taygetus.
Lysistrata
Then I'll expose my mighty mystery. O women, if we would compel the men To bow to Peace, we must refrain --
Myrrhine
From what? O tell us!
Lysistrata
Will you truly do it then?
Myrrhine
We will, we will, if we must die for it.
Lysistrata
We must refrain from every depth of love.... Why do you turn your backs? Where are you going? Why do you bite your lips and shake your heads? Why are your faces blanched? Why do you weep? Will you or won't you, or what do you mean?
Myrrhine
No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.
Calonice
No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.
Lysistrata
You too, dear turbot, you that said just now You didn't mind being split right up in the least?
Calonice
Anything else? O bid me walk in fire But do not rob us of that darling joy. What else is like it, dearest Lysistrata?
Lysistrata
And you?
Myrrhine
O please give me the fire instead.
Lysistrata
Lewd to the least drop in the tiniest vein, Our sex is fitly food for Tragic Poets, Our whole life's but a pile of kisses apd babies. But, hardy Spartan, if you join with me All may be righted yet. O help me, help me.
Lampito
It's a sair, sair thing to ask of us, by the Twa, A lass to sleep her lane and never fill Love's lack except wi' makeshifts.... But let it be. Peace maun be thought of first.
Lysistrata
My friend, my friend! The only one amid this herd of weaklings.
Calonice
But if -- which heaven forbid -- we should refrain As you would have us, how is Peace induced?
Lysistrata
By the two Goddesses, now can't you see All we have to do is idly sit indoors With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks, Our bodies burning naked through the folds Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet the men With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat. Their stirring love will rise up furiously, They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time! We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off -- And they will soon be rabid for a Peace. I'm sure of it.
Lampito
Just as Menelaus, they say, Seeing the bosom of his naked Helen Flang down the sword.
Calonice
But we'll be tearful fools If our husbands take us at our word and leave us.
Lysistrata
There's only left then, in Pherecrates' phrase, "To flay a skinned dog" -- flay more our flayed desires.
Calonice
Bah, proverbs will never warm a celibate. But what avail will your scheme be if the men Drag us for all our kicking on to the couch?
Lysistrata
Cling to the doorposts.
Calonice
But if they should force us?
Lysistrata
Yield then, but with a sluggish, cold indifference. There is no joy to them in sullen mating. Besides we have other ways to madden them; They cannot stand up long, and they've no delight Unless we fit their aim with merry succour.
Calonice
Well if you must have it so, we'll all agree.
Lampito
For us I ha' no doubt. We can persuade Our men to strike a fair an' decent Peace, But how will ye pitch out the battle-frenzy O' the Athenian populace?
Lysistrata
I promise you We'll wither up that curse.
Lampito
I don't believe it. Not while they own ane trireme oared an' rigged, Or a' those stacks an' stacks an' stacks O' siller.
Lysistrata
I've thought the whole thing out till there's no flaw. We shall surprise the Acropolis today: That is the duty set the older dames. While we sit here talking, they are to go And under pretence of sacrificing, seize it.
Lampito
Certie, that's fine; all's warking for the best.
Lysistrata
Now quickly, Lampito, let us tie ourselves To this high purpose as tightly as the hemp of words Can knot together.
Lampito
Set out the terms in detail And we'll a' swear to them.
Lysistrata
Of course.... Well then Where is our Scythianess? Why are you staring? First lay the shield, boss downward, on the floor And bring the victim's inwards.
Calonice
But, Lysistrata, What is this oath that we're to swear?
Lysistrata
What oath! In Aeschylus they take a slaughtered sheep And swear upon a buckler. Why not we?
Calonice
O Lysistrata, Peace sworn on a buckler!
Lysistrata
What oath would suit us then?
Calonice
Something burden bearing Would be our best insignia.... A white horse! Let's swear upon its entrails.
Lysistrata
A horse indeed!
Calonice
Then what will symbolise us?
Lysistrata
This, as I tell you -- First set a great dark bowl upon the ground And disembowel a skin of Thasian wine, Then swear that we'll not add a drop of water.
Lampito Ah, what aith could clink pleasanter than that!
Lysistrata Bring me a bowl then and a skin of wine.
Calonice My dears, see what a splendid bowl it is; I'd not say No if asked to sip it off.
Lysistrata Put down the bowl. Lay hands, all, on the victim. Skiey Queen who givest the last word in arguments, And thee, O Bowl, dear comrade, we beseech: Accept our oblation and be propitious to us.
Calonice What healthy blood, la, how it gushes out!
Lampito An' what a leesome fragrance through the air.
Lysistrata Now, dears, if you will let me, I'll speak first.
Calonice Only if you draw the lot, by Aphrodite!
Lysistrata SO, grasp the brim, you, Lampito, and all. You, Calonice, repeat for the rest Each word I say. Then you must all take oath And pledge your arms to the same stern conditions --
Lysistrata To husband or lover I'll not open arms
Calonice
"To husband or lover I'll not open arms"
Lysistrata
Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.
Calonice
"Though love and denial may enlarge his charms." O, O, my knees are failing me, Lysistrata!
Lysistrata
But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,
Calonice
"But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,"
Lysistrata
Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.
Calonice
"Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day."
Lysistrata
If then he seizes me by dint of force,
Calonice
"If then he seizes me by dint of force,"
Lysistrata
I'll give him reason for a long remorse.
Calonice
"I'll give him reason for a long remorse."
Lysistrata
I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,
Calonice
"I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,"
Lysistrata
Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.
Calonice
"Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling."
Lysistrata
If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.
Calonice
"If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine."
Lysistrata
If not, to nauseous water change this wine.
Calonice "If not, to nauseous water change this wine."
Lysistrata
Do you all swear to this?
Myrrhine
We do, we do.
Lysistrata
Then I shall immolate the victim thus. "She drinks."
Calonice
Here now, share fair, haven't we made a pact? Let's all quaff down that friendship in our turn.
Lampito
Hark, what caterwauling hubbub's that?
Lysistrata
As I told you, The women have appropriated the citadel. So, Lampito, dash off to your own land And raise the rebels there. These will serve as hostages, While we ourselves take our places in the ranks And drive the bolts right home.
Calonice
But won't the men March straight against us?
Lysistrata
And what if they do? No threat shall creak our hinges wide, no torch Shall light a fear in us; we will come out To Peace alone.
Calonice
That's it, by Aphrodite! As of old let us seem hard and obdurate.
Lampito "and some go off; the others go up into the Acropolis."
"Chorus of" Old Men "enter to attack the captured Acropolis".
Make room, Draces, move ahead; why your shoulder's chafed, I see, With lugging uphill these lopped branches of the olive-tree. How upside-down and wrong-way-round a long life sees things grow. Ah, Strymodorus, who'd have thought affairs could tangle so?
The women whom at home we fed, Like witless fools, with fostering bread, Have impiously come to this -- They've stolen the Acropolis, With bolts and bars our orders flout And shut us out.
Come, Philurgus, bustle thither; lay our faggots on the ground, In neat stacks beleaguering the insurgents all around; And the vile conspiratresses, plotters of such mischief dire, Pile and burn them all together in one vast and righteous pyre: Fling with our own hands Lycon's wife to fry in the thickest fire. By Demeter, they'll get no brag while I've a vein to beat! Cleomenes himself was hurtled out in sore defeat. His stiff-backed Spartan pride was bent. Out, stripped of all his arms, he went: A pigmy cloak that would not stretch To hide his rump (the draggled wretch), Six sprouting years of beard, the spilth Of six years' filth.
That was a siege! Our men were ranged in lines of seventeen deep Before the gates, and never left their posts there, even to sleep. Shall I not smite the rash presumption then of foes like these, Detested both of all the gods and of Euripides -- Else, may the Marathon-plain not boast my trophied victories!
Ah, now, there's but a little space To reach the place! A deadly climb it is, a tricky road With all this bumping load: A pack-ass soon would tire.... How these logs bruise my shoulders! further still Jog up the hill, And puff the fire inside, Or just as we reach the top we'll find it's died. Ough, phew! I choke with the smoke.
Lord Heracles, how acrid-hot Out of the pot This mad-dog smoke leaps, worrying me And biting angrily.... 'Tis Lemnian fire that smokes, Or else it would not sting my eyelids thus.... Haste, all of us; Athene invokes our aid. Laches, now or never the assault must be made! Ough, phew! I choke with the smoke. ..
Thanked be the gods! The fire peeps up and crackles as it should. Now why not first slide off our backs these weary loads of wood And dip a vine-branch in the brazier till it glows, then straight Hurl it at the battering-ram against the stubborn gate? If they refuse to draw the bolts in immediate compliance, We'll set fire to the wood, and smoke will strangle their defiance.
Phew, what a spluttering drench of smoke! Come, now from off my back.... Is there no Samos-general to help me to unpack? Ah there, that's over! For the last time now it's galled my shoulder. Flare up thine embers, brazier, and dutifully smoulder, To kindle a brand, that I the first may strike the citadel. Aid me, Lady Victory, that a triumph-trophy may tell How we did anciently this insane audacity quell!
"Chorus of" Women.
What's that rising yonder? That ruddy glare, that smoky skurry? O is it something in a blaze? Quick, quick, my comrades, hurry! Nicodice, helter-skelter! Or poor Calyce's in flames And Cratylla's stifled in the welter. O these dreadful old men And their dark laws of hate! There, I'm all of a tremble lest I turn out to be too late. I could scarcely get near to the spring though I rose before dawn, What with tattling of tongues and rattling of pitchers in one jostling din With slaves pushing in!....
Still here at last the water's drawn And with it eagerly I run To help those of my friends who stand In danger of being burned alive. For I am told a dribbling band Of greybeards hobble to the field, Great faggots in each palsied hand, As if a hot bath to prepare, And threatening that out they'll drive These wicked women or soon leave them charring into ashes there. O Goddess, suffer not, I pray, this harsh deed to be done, But show us Greece and Athens with their warlike acts repealed! For this alone, in this thy hold, Thou Goddess with the helm of gold, We laid hands on thy sanctuary, Athene.... Then our ally be And where they cast their fires of slaughter Direct our water!
Stratyllis ("caught")
Let me go!
Women
You villainous old men, what's this you do? No honest man, no pious man, could do such things as you.
Men
Ah ha, here's something most original, I have no doubt: A swarm of women sentinels to man the walls without.
Women
So then we scare you, do we? Do we seem a fearful host? You only see the smallest fraction mustered at this post.
Men
Ho, Phaedrias, shall we put a stop to all these chattering tricks? Suppose that now upon their backs we splintered these our sticks?
Women
Let us lay down the pitchers, so our bodies will be free, In case these lumping fellows try to cause some injury.
Men
O hit them hard and hit again and hit until they run away, And perhaps they'll learn, like Bupalus, not to have too much to say.
Women
Come on, then -- do it! I won't budge, but like a dog I'll bite At every little scrap of meat that dangles in my sight.
Men
Be quiet, or I'll bash you out of any years to come.
Women
Now you just touch Stratyllis with the top-joint of your thumb.
Men
What vengeance can you take if with my fists your face I beat?
Women
I'll rip you with my teeth and strew your entrails at your feet.
Men
Now I appreciate Euripides' strange subtlety: Woman is the most shameless beast of all the beasts that be.
Women
Rhodippe, come, and let's pick up our water-jars once more.
Men
Ah cursed drab, what have you brought this water for?
Women
What is your fire for then, you smelly corpse? Yourself to burn?
Men
To build a pyre and make your comrades ready for the urn.
Women
And I've the water to put out your fire immediately.
Men
What, you put out my fire?
Women
Yes, sirrah, as you soon will see.
Men
I don't know why I hesitate to roast you with this flame.
Women
If you have any soap you'll go off cleaner than you came.
Men
Cleaner, you dirty slut?
Women
A nuptial-bath in which to lie!
Men
Did you hear that insolence?
Women
I'm a free woman, I.
Men
I'll make you hold your tongue.
Women
Henceforth you'll serve in no more juries.
Men
Burn off her hair for her.
Women
Now forward, water, quench their furies!
Men
O dear, O dear!
Women
So ... was it hot?
Men
Hot! ... Enough, O hold.
Women
Watered, perhaps you'll bloom again -- why not?
Men
Brrr, I'm wrinkled up from shivering with cold.
Women
Next time you've fire you'll warm yourself and leave us to our lot.
Magistrate "enters with attendant" SCYTHIANS.
Magistrate
Have the luxurious rites of the women glittered Their libertine show, their drumming tapped out crowds, The Sabazian Mysteries summoned their mob, Adonis been wept to death on the terraces, As I could hear the last day in the Assembly? For Demostratus -- let bad luck befoul him -- Was roaring, "We must sail for Sicily," While a woman, throwing herself about in a dance Lopsided with drink, was shrilling out "Adonis, Woe for Adonis." Then Demostratus shouted, "We must levy hoplites at Zacynthus," And there the woman, up to the ears in wine, Was screaming "Weep for Adonis" on the house-top, The scoundrelly politician, that lunatic ox, Bellowing bad advice through tipsy shrieks: Such are the follies wantoning in them.
Men
O if you knew their full effronery! All of the insults they've done, besides sousing us With water from their pots to our public disgrace For we stand here wringing our clothes like grown-up infants.
Magistrate
By Poseidon, justly done! For in part with us The blame must lie for dissolute behaviour And for the pampered appetites they learn. Thus grows the seedling lust to blossoming: We go into a shop and say, "Here, goldsmith, You remember the necklace that you wrought my wife; Well, the other night in fervour of a dance Her clasp broke open. Now I'm off for Salamis; If you've the leisure, would you go tonight And stick a bolt-pin into her opened clasp." Another goes to a cobbler; a soldierly fellow, Always standing up erect, and says to him, "Cobbler, a sandal-strap of my wife's pinches her, Hurts her little toe in a place where she's sensitive. Come at noon and see if you can stretch out wider This thing that troubles her, loosen its tightness." And so you view the result. Observe my case -- I, a magistrate, come here to draw Money to buy oar-blades, and what happens? The women slam the door full in my face. But standing still's no use. Bring me a crowbar, And I'll chastise this their impertinence. What do you gape at, wretch, with dazzled eyes? Peering for a tavern, I suppose. Come, force the gates with crowbars, prise them apart! I'll prise away myself too.... (Lysistrata "appears.")
Lysistrata
Stop this banging. I'm coming of my own accord.... Why bars? It is not bars we need but common sense.
Magistrate
Indeed, you slut! Where is the archer now? Arrest this woman, tie her hands behind.
Lysistrata
If he brushes me with a finger, by Artemis, The public menial, he'll be sorry for it.
Magistrate
Are you afraid? Grab her about the middle. Two of you then, lay hands on her and end it.
Calonice
By Pandrosos I if your hand touches her I'll spread you out and trample on your guts.
Magistrate
My guts! Where is the other archer gone? Bind that minx there who talks so prettily.
Myrrhine
By Phosphor, if your hand moves out her way You'd better have a surgeon somewhere handy.
Magistrate
You too! Where is that archer? Take that woman. I'll put a stop to these surprise-parties.
Stratyllis
By the Tauric Artemis, one inch nearer My fingers, and it's a bald man that'll be yelling.
Magistrate
Tut tut, what's here? Deserted by my archers.... But surely women never can defeat us; Close up your ranks, my Scythians. Forward at them.
Lysistrata
By the Goddesses, you'll find that here await you Four companies of most pugnacious women Armed cap-a-pie from the topmost louring curl To the lowest angry dimple.
Magistrate
On, Scythians, bind them.
Lysistrata
On, gallant allies of our high design, Vendors of grain-eggs-pulse-and-vegetables, Ye garlic-tavern-keepers of bakeries, Strike, batter, knock, hit, slap, and scratch our foes, Be finely imprudent, say what you think of them.... Enough! retire and do not rob the dead.
Magistrate
How basely did my archer-force come off.
Lysistrata
Ah, ha, you thought it was a herd of slaves You had to tackle, and you didn't guess The thirst for glory ardent in our blood.
Magistrate
By Apollo, I know well the thirst that heats you -- Especially when a wine-skin's close.
Men
You waste your breath, dear magistrate, I fear, in answering back. What's the good of argument with such a rampageous pack? Remember how they washed us down (these very clothes I wore) With water that looked nasty and that smelt so even more.
Women
What else to do, since you advanced too dangerously nigh. If you should do the same again, I'll punch you in the eye. Though I'm a stay-at-home and most a quiet life enjoy, Polite to all and every (for I'm naturally coy), Still if you wake a wasps' nest then of wasps you must beware.
Men
How may this ferocity be tamed? It grows too great to bear. Let us question them and find if they'll perchance declare The reason why they strangely dare To seize on Cranaos' citadel, This eyrie inaccessible, This shrine above the precipice, The Acropolis. Probe them and find what they mean with this idle talk; listen, but watch they don't try to deceive. You'd be neglecting your duty most certainly if now this mystery unplumbed you leave.
Magistrate
Women there! Tell what I ask you, directly.... Come, without rambling, I wish you to state What's your rebellious intention in barring up thus on our noses our own temple-gate.
Lysistrata
To take first the treasury out of your management, and so stop the war through the absence of gold.
Magistrate
Is gold then the cause of the war?
Lysistrata
Yes, gold caused it and miseries more, too many to be told. 'Twas for money, and money alone, that Pisander with all of the army of mob-agitators. Raised up revolutions. But, as for the future, it won't be worth while to set up to be traitors. Not an obol they'll get as their loot, not an obol! while we have the treasure-chest in our command.
Magistrate
What then is that you propose?
Lysistrata
Just this -- merely to take the exchequer henceforth in hand.
Magistrate
The exchequer!
Lysistrata
Yes, why not? Of our capabilities you have had various clear evidences. Firstly remember we have always administered soundly the budget of all home-expenses.
Magistrate
But this matter's different.
Lysistrata
How is it different?
Magistrate
Why, it deals chiefly with war-time supplies.
Lysistrata
But we abolish war straight by our policy.
Magistrate
What will you do if emergencies arise?
Lysistrata
Face them our own way.
Magistrate
What "you" will?
Lysistrata
Yes "we" will!
Magistrate
Then there's no help for it; we're all destoryed.
Lysistrata
No, willy-nilly you must be safeguarded.
Magistrate
What madness is this?
Lysistrata
Why, it seems you're annoyed. It must be done, that's all.
Magistrate
Such awful oppression never, O never in the past yet I bore.
Lysistrata
You must be saved, sirrah -- that's all there is to it.
Magistrate
If we don't want to be saved?
Lysistrata
All the more.
Magistrate
Why do you women come prying and meddling in matters of state touching war-time and peace?
Lysistrata
That I will tell you.
Magistrate
O tell me or quickly I'll --
Lysistrata
Hearken awhile and from threatening cease.
Magistrate
I cannot, I cannot; it's growing too insolent.
Women
Come on; you've far more than we have to dread.
Magistrate
Stop from your croaking, old carrion-crow there.... Continue
Lysistrata
Be calm then and I'll go ahead. All the long years when the hopeless war dragged along we, unassuming, forgotten in quiet, Endured without question, endured in our loneliness all your incessant child's antics and riot. Our lips we kept tied, though aching with silence, though well all the while in our silence we knew How wretchedly everything still was progressing by listening dumbly the day long to you. For always at home you continued discussing the war and its politics loudly, and we Sometimes would ask you, our hearts deep with sorrowing though we spoke lightly, though happy to see, "What's to be inscribed on the side of the Treaty-stone What, dear, was said in the Assembly today?" "Mind your own business," he'd answer me growlingly "hold your tongue, woman, or else go away." And so I would hold it.
Women
I'd not be silent for any man living on earth, no, not I!
Magistrate
Not for a staff?
Lysistrata
Well, so I did nothing but sit in the house, feeling dreary, and sigh, While ever arrived some fresh tale of decisions more foolish by far and presaging disaster. Then I would say to him, "O my dear husband, why still do they rush on destructlon the faster?" At which he would look at me sideways, exclaiming, "Keep for your web and your shuttle your care, Or for some hours hence your cheeks will be sore and hot; leave this alone, war is Man's sole affair!"
Magistrate
By Zeus, but a man of fine sense, he.
Lysistrata
How sensible? You dotard, because he at no time had lent His intractible ears to absorb from our counsel one temperate word of advice, kindly meant? But when at the last in the streets we heard shouted (everywhere ringing the ominous cry) "Is there no one to help us, no saviour in Athens?" and, "No, there is no one," come back in reply. At once a convention of all wives through Hellas here for a serious purpose was held, To determine how husbands might yet back to wisdom despite their reluctance in time be compelled. Why then delay any longer? It's settled. For the future you'll take up our old occupation. Now in turn you're to hold tongue, as we did, and listen while we show the way to recover the nation.
Magistrate
"You" talk to "us!" Why, you're mad. I'll not stand it.
